Fun with Peter Banki

Propositions

BEING GOOD

This workshop will be a kind of futuristic parody of “consent culture” and “safe space” where we will play together in such a way that all erotic interactions will be heavily regulated and monitored. The purpose is to bring to light some of the more unconscious aspects of “consent culture” in terms of unexamined power dynamics and bullying. We will also consider what the benefits of “consent culture” might be in terms of harm reduction and awareness of sexual abuse.

This “being good” role-play will provide the basis on which we can have a discussion about what is really happening in our communities today in the broader context of what is happening globally, where there is ever more technological surveillance and limitations on our personal freedom in the name of safety and security.

The Poetry of Listening

One often thinks of listening as a passive, docile activity, one that is secondary to speaking and acting. However, it is possible—even necessary—to reverse this order and affirm that listening comes first, that without listening, there would be no speech. Moreover, it is the quality and energy of listening which creates speech. Poetry in Greek means creation (poesis). The speaker is always indebted to the listener, who he or she most often doesn't see.  The philosopher Martin Heidegger once defined listening as the most elementary gesture of thought.

In this workshop, we will take the path of listening. Listening is not only restricted to the ear, it may include all the senses. What I dream of is a new way of communicating, a new speech, that would come from an experience of absolute vulnerability. But this is possible only by first listening. We will seek out the places where it is painful, impossible and/or maddeningly difficult to listen. For each person, this will be different. My argument is that it is only when one lets oneself be confronted by the limits of one's capacities that anything creative or new may happen.

Within BDSM culture and elsewhere, great emphasis is often given to the spectacle—to what can be seen. Listening, however, is not always visible. In the first moment one does not know if it has taken place, but only later—perhaps never. Listening thus resists the tendency to identify the event with what seems to be revealed in the here and now. Listening can teach us the virtue of waiting.

Sexual Permission and Maturity in the Context of Neo-Liberalism

Play Space Lecture

Festivals such as Xplore and spaces like IKSK do not exist in isolation. They belong to a wider social and cultural movement, which contests dominant attitudes towards sexuality, while actively encouraging erotic education and expansion. There is obviously a political impetus behind such events to the extent that they seek to contribute to a culture that is more erotically informed and liberated.

It cannot be ignored, however, that like almost everything else today, the so-called “sex positive” movement operates within a context of neoliberalism. More than just the dominance of monetary values and economic calculation, neoliberalism may be understood as a governing rationality through which everything (whether wealth generating or not) is economized, submitted to market metrics and governed through market techniques and practices.

This lecture will explore what are the consequences of neo-liberalism for the sex positive movement (up to and including the very name “sex positive”, which itself could be read as symptomatic of neoliberalism). How does neoliberalism at once enable and limit the “radical” or “socially progressive” aspirations of the sex-positive movement? And how can we identify the tendencies within this movement which may effectively resist neoliberalism? If one believes in the value of erotic festivals and erotic education, one needs to take such questions seriously.

BEING BAD

“Supreme delight lies in the certainty of doing ‘evil’ – and men and women know from birth that all pleasure lies in evil.” – Charles Baudelaire

Being bad—flirting with evil—belongs to the repertoire of BDSM and, I would argue, sexuality in general. And yet, it is something many are frightened to explore, because understandably there is a fear of evil and being evil.

A lot of the sexiness of BDSM comes from the allure of being bad, of taking the risk of crossing borders of conventional morality and politeness. In this workshop, you’ll have a license to be bad. How bad can you be? How much bad will you allow to be done to you? What finally do you hold to be unacceptable? And why?

Finally, what role does forgiveness play in sexuality and BDSM?

Please bring some SM toys, if available! 

Switching

Many people within the BDSM world believe that you must choose a given role on one side or the other: top or bottom; dominant or submissive. If you don’t, you are considered not to know what you really want. There is, however, another school of thought that argues that one should cultivate the ability to enjoy all sides. From this point of view, growth consists not so much in going ever more deeply into a role that would somehow represent one’s true self, but in one’s openness to all the possibilities one can dream of.

For me, if you are absolutely unwilling or unable to switch, it’s a problem. It means you are overly attached to a particular emotional and/or psychological pattern. If, on the other hand, you are open to switching, you become in the end, arguably, a much better player, because you have the possibility for a more empathic understanding of your partner and a greater understanding of the energetic dynamic as a whole.

This workshop will propose switching scores adopted from dance. They are designed to stimulate your desire to play different roles and to increase your awareness of how roles change from one relationship to another. The scores will also permit you to explore creatively the different physical and spatial ways one can communicate dominance and submission, and how from one moment to another the roles can flip.

The opposition dominance/submission can at the limit be. Perhaps I am submissive, perhaps I am dominant, but perhaps I am neither submissive nor dominant, but something or someone else entirely.

PLUSH ANIMAL PLAY

Many people give up their plush animals well before they go into puberty. However, there are also quite a few who never give them up, and courageously carry them into adulthood. For me, they are not toys, but living creatures, with unique personalities, likes and dislikes, and even sexualities. Beyond giving emotional comfort and reassurance, they create magical worlds of intimacy that it is possible to share with others.

This workshop is a unique opportunity to “out” yourself as a plush animal lover, or otherwise open yourself to an experience that is warm, funny and intimate, and which is for some more confronting than the most bizarre SM practices. I will talk about the role they play in my life, and in my relationships with others. Then they will introduce themselves. Circumstances permitting, we will let them take over, and lead us.

They are very anxious to meet new play partners. Choose your favorite one, or bring along all of them!

The Last Taboo: Money

In polite culture, it is often considered to be a taboo to talk about money. However, for many of us money is more intimate than sex.

It might be easier and more socially acceptable to challenge ourselves erotically than it is to question the conditions under which we make our living—or fail to make our living.

If the purpose of xplore is to cultivate expansion beyond traditional relationships, then the question of money must at some point also be raised. What relation does my intimate life have to the material conditions of my existence?

In this workshop, I will discuss some of the ethico-political considerations related to the financial aspects of producing the inaugural xplore festival in Sydney, Australia in April 2011. I will also propose some exercises adapted from BDSM, whose purpose is to provide a frame to experience unconscious emotions around money, hierarchy and the social/sexual order.

Intellectual Bondage

If bondage with the ropes is a highly visible, transitory and conscious action, what I am calling “intellectual bondage” is most often unconscious. It manifests itself, for example, in someone’s way of interpreting what happens to them, in their thinking and values, in their ability (or inability) to take risks or to listen. Can we make our intellectual bondage more visible? And can such an experience give birth to a more profound eroticism?

Transformation and Repair - A Ritual of Grief and Eros

An immersive journey into the mystery of life’s threshold — exploring the transition of our final exhalation and first inhalation. Together, through imaginative and somatic exploration, we will reflect on the moment of leaving and re-entering the ‘earthen vessel.’

Breathe, move, feel, and vocalize to make space for this energy so we can choose to direct it in powerful loving ways. Both eros and grief open the flow of energy in our hearts and entire beings.

If you want to control a society, teach them to be ashamed of who they are and what they deeply desire. They will lose a sense of what's possible. Many people have lived and died in a restricted sense of what is possible and have passed that along through generations. This ritual invites you to tremble open to see a future beyond these restrictions, a future we can be proud of together.